Knife in my Bed

When I first moved out to the farm my now husband was working drilling rigs. It was shift work with a week of 7am-3pm, a week of 3pm-11pm, a week of 11pm-7am and then a week off. Boy did I ever hate those all night shifts.

During one of these night shifts, I had been hearing some funny noises outside. It was dark and cold and scary to me being out here all alone. I didn’t know how to drive yet or where any of my neighbors were located.

I could hear the coyotes howling in the distance but wasn’t really sure what a coyote was even. I sat in this house terrified so naturally I locked both front doors and grabbed a big knife. I settled myself in bed with my trusty knife under my pillow and tried to sleep.

Next thing I know, I can hear this rustling and banging against the front door. I freaked out! Wouldn’t get outta bed and just laid in the dark with my knife hoping whatever was outside couldn’t get in the house. After awhile I must have fallen asleep because I woke up to Brad banging on the door for me to unlock it.

I went down and let him in and told him all about my terrifying night. Did he comfort me? Did he go outside to look for evidence of what happened during the night? No! He sat there and laughed and laughed. Needless to say, I was mad.

Eventually he did comfort me by telling me I was crazy and there was no way coyotes would come in the yard. I’ve had a few more scares over the years but I’ve never slept with a knife again.

My Pet Pig

A few years ago I thought I had Brad talked into buying a baby pig that I could raise and it would be my pet. I was so excited and happy and just couldn’t wait to get my new pet pig.

As we hitched on the cattle trailer and made the drive down south to this pig farmer’s place Brad informed that no I would not be getting one pig as I had hoped. I would be getting 20 pigs to raise and then butcher and sell to local people. What?! I cried and then realized this man had tricked me. Now I knew why we had to put such a big trough in the little pig barn and why we chopped so much grain. I thought it was to save me some work but alas it was to feed 20 pigs instead of just one.

As we chased and caught and loaded 20 pigs I realized just how much fun this would NOT be. I fed those pigs and watered those pigs and in return they dug under the fence and got out of the pen. They dug up the yard and pooped everywhere. They bit my legs as I walked through the pen with their feed. We put an electric wire all around the pen but they dug under it and got out in the yard anyways. And when it was time to load them on that trailer to haul them to the butcher they knew what was coming. They got out and ran helter skelter all over this big yard. We spent hours chasing them down and trying to chuck them in the trailer without others getting back out.

Finally we got them all loaded up and hauled into the butcher. I may have cried a little sitting in the truck watching them walk the loading ramp into the butcher. But I also may have been a little happy that my pig troubles were over. Needless to say, we did not end up with any of that pork in our deep freeze.

I still harass this man I married about the day I was going to get my pet pig. I think one day my wish will come true. I may have to make the arrangements myself so I get my pet pig and not 20 of the little buggers.

The Night of the Raccoon

My husband drives an oil tanker during the winter and when he’s not busy farming other times of the year. He gets up about 5am while it’s still dark out and first thing he does is go start the semi. Most mornings it’s just a cold quick walk outside to start it up and come back in for a half hour or so of coffee.

To really understand what happens next I must explain a few things. Right out our front door we have two bowls of cat food and dog food for our outside animals. We keep them full of food so our kitties and dog, Homer, always have something to eat.

On this particular early morning, Brad stumbled outside with sleep still in eyes to start his semi. He stepped down towards the food bowls and tripped over a raccoon! I’m sure the raccoon was just as shocked as Brad was and even more so when Brad booted it into the hedges. Brad may have had a mini heart attack and then continued on with his morning routine. I was peacefully sleeping in bed while this whole showdown occurred and did not hear about it until later that evening when Brad returned from work.

Even though he won’t admit it I think he made a mess in his shorts after coming across this raccoon. Now that I think about it, there was a pair of lone boxers in the washing machine when I went to do laundry that day.

So next time you’re up in the early morning dark beware the cat food eating raccoon!

Smells like poo

It’s that time of year again here at the Vandenhurk farm. Brad is cleaning the corrals which is an unpleasant job to say the least. The first time I was here for corral cleaning I obviously didn’t know how it all worked. Brad asked if I wanted to go haul a load so I went walking out to the corrals in my flip flops and then realized there was runny poop everywhere. But it was too late!! I had already got close enough to the tractor that Brad wouldn’t let me turn back for the house to put on boots. I climbed up in the tractor with poop all over my feet and we hauled a load out to the field. We spread the load out over the ground and headed back to the yard. By the time Brad dropped me off at the house I was ready to puke from the smell and cry from the poop all over my poor feet and flip flops. I hopped in the shower as soon as I got in the house and didn’t go back outside for a few days til the corral cleaning was done. If it smells like poop around here and the fields look like poop, stay away it’s corral cleaning time.

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